Thursday, August 4, 2011

GUT reactions - and itching

Posted by Dancing Daring Delightful Diva at 9:45 AM 0 comments
During my divorced life and dating, I have had the oddest experience - ITCHING on my neck if I am uncomfortable in the relationship.  While it has been slightly different with each relationship, it HAS come out and drives me CRAZY! 

So, the very first time, I was 'trying' to date and be into my now-friend and I could NOT for the life of me figure out why I was itching or when - until he joked that I was allergic to him!  Then it dawned on me that I was itching when I was around him, clearly uncomfortable!  He finally called it like it was - I was not that into him - and I did not itch from that day forward!  WOW!   Talk about a gut reaction! 

So, I have paid attention to the itching ever since!  It has been fail-proof so far...until now!  I did not itch while dating this most recent fella, and felt quite comfortable, relaxed, and was listening to my body and gut...or for me, my neck rather!  :)

This time, however, I have been itching SINCE the breakup, since the relationship has resolved, so I do not know what to do, I spoke with him to get closure and that didn't help.  I am being authentic and true to myself...which tends to be the resolution and balancing of the Throat Chakra...to stop the itching.  I do NOT know what is going on this time!  New territory that is for sure. 

I have many opinions when I ask others, trying to help figure out what is going on for me, what I am not being true about, authentic, or ME about!  UGH!   I am open to hearing theories and in the meantime I am using emu oils, anti-itch creams, meditation and other techniques to minimize the itch that is making me crazy!

More Change...and growth!

Posted by Dancing Daring Delightful Diva at 9:39 AM 0 comments
Well, life has thrown more curve balls my way and change brings growth, right?
I am no longer dating the special man in my life, it seems too much opposite was difficult and fear-inducing for him - and he ran.  He didn't handle things in the greatest or most respectful manner so that adds to the difficulty, but as someone told me I would realize someday...he did the best he could in the moment, and that wasn't good enough for me...So one more door shuts, and we will see about other doors and windows later on. 

This has been difficult to swallow for sure - I had finally trusted again, fell in love again, so it is painful.  I am recovering and focusing on me again and getting back to normal. 
I have learned and am grateful for many things from the experience, even through the pain.
  1. Perhaps it was good for me simply TO trust and love again.
  2. My kids, while they met him and that is difficult, they also got to see, as did I, how someone CAN be with them, and an experience we all got to have, while brief.
  3. I was relaxed finally in dating, enjoying the moments...I was doing GREAT!
  4. I tightened my standards yet again and keep getting closer and closer to a good match for me. 
Good luck to all of you in your relationships and learning experiences, I am moving on and back to me!
 

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