Thursday, May 31, 2012

Come a long way baby!

Posted by Daring Delightful Digital Diva at 9:04 AM 0 comments
Remember that phrase? We've come a long way baby? I don't even remember where it is from, but I have noticed that I HAVE COME A LONG WAY!! I get to once in a while catch a glimpse of that progress, often during difficult times, and have realized that is sometimes when we experience the most growth.


Things are changing, life is evolving, I have changed and will continue to grow, learn. I do, however, handle things differently - I have learned new skills and new ways of thinking, and sometimes when something happens and you respond differently, you react differently, or think differently - that is when you get to say AH-HA...I truly have reached a different level and choose to no longer behave in those unhealthy ways that do not serve me, look at me go! :)



Once you recognize those little or big moments that you chose a different path, then you get to build on that direction as well and just keep going, soaring! Oh we will stumble, we will once in a while revert to an old way of thinking or behaving, but it does take time to really overhaul a lifetime of behaviors, patterns, reactions, and OH the thinking, how that is so difficult to change.



Open those doors, do the work, make different choices, grow, develop, pass it on to your kids - new direction is oh so sweet, and so worth those efforts. I am happier than I once was in this new life; it feels good to me, and your life should feel good - I am behaving in ways that serve my higher good, my nature, my purpose. It resonates with who I am and who I want to be.



What resonates with you? How do you want to be? What changes do you want to make? What ways of thinking do you want to be differently? Make a small change, see how it goes, make that shift toward a new path, a new direction...it FEELS GOOD, sometimes even when it doesn't for a bit, it does feel great in the long run!


Daring, Delightful Diva :)

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Express Yourself

Posted by Dancing Daring Delightful Diva at 8:55 AM 0 comments
How many of you have had your feelings hurt? Of course we have! Tons of times and in tons of ways by tons of people right? Oh let me count the ways! I find myself in this predicament again, and this time I am looking at the ME side of the equation, so yeah for this learning experience - I suppose!

So, here's the ME part I find a little odd - I am articulate, educated, bold, and speak my mind - about MANY things ~~ except often I hold my tongue in situations with those I care about, whether it be family, friends, or dating. Perhaps I still just don't much care for conflict, maybe there is some fear with friends or dating that we won't get past it, that people will leave, maybe a fear of saying something I might regret - and just because they have hurt me, I refuse to purposely hurt them back. But really, if people would leave your life because you DO speak up and say your feelings and that your feelings are hurt and why, and even that they may have had a part in that process, are they really worth having in your life? I suppose a relationship of any kind, even family, has got to be able to handle conflict and discourse, and hopefully you come out stronger.


So, for those of you men or women who are in my boat where you find yourself sometimes NOT saying how you feel? This is what I have learned over the last few months - it is quite freeing to own the feelings, to say how you feel, to say you are hurting, angry, or whatever. DO IT, give it a try, it is pretty great! Ok, it sucks that it happened, and sucks that someone may have hurt your feelings, I won't lie...but there is some great freedom to find a way to express your feelings in a mature, adult manner - what happened, how it hurt your feelings, and THE feelings! Even trying to pinpoint what the feelings are can be difficult!

Come on EXPRESS YOURSELF!





So, once we own the feelings, which if you are new at labeling them, finding the actual feeling, how or why you feel that way, then comes the hard part - letting go and forgiving if you can...the important next step. Here I go!

I do hope that I can teach my children better conflict management, feeling ownership and communication in this process ~ it really is such a life lesson and skill, and so many of us yell, cuss, 'fight,' avoid, or try passive-aggressive, or aggressive behaviors among other things - all defense mechanisms really since our feelings are hurt. But I want to try this with my kids, and have found myself telling them their feelings are theirs, they own them, can feel them, express them, so I think I am on my way...while learning along the way myself!

Happy, Delightful, expressing everyone!
Daring, Delightful Diva

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Power of Positive

Posted by Dancing Daring Delightful Diva at 9:16 AM 0 comments
My friends and family are starting to 'get' the way my life works and the almost kooky power of positive thinking.  I often get asked "how do you do that?" or "how did you get that?" - my answer is often the same - I think I CAN, feeling like the lil' Engine That Could, or that 'it never hurts to ask!'.  My mom said the other day that I am my father's daughter, but I think I have harnessed this in an even better system than my dad - because I play on different characteristics than he has - I play the sweet lil gal, and he has the power of 6'4" and gruff fear! Work what you got! Haha!  Here's how!

OK, let me try to explain - with an example.  A couple years ago, I had to replace my car, rushed after a wreck before rental car time ran out and a trip for a conference.  I looked day and night, all around town and online as well, right?  I had a couple of deals worked out, probably good ones because, after all, I am my father's daughter! But, I couldn't seem to sign on the dotted line...I would have been borrowing only a teeny bit and would have something practical for single mom, kids, decent car about a year old.  Well, then it happened...that gut feeling to not sign was telling me what my boss then filled me in on - my job was 'squishy'.  DAMN!  So, back to the drawing board I went and double time.  I had $8500 in value for my wrecked car, owed $1000, so I said simply - and I believed it - I WILL FIND A CAR FOR $7500 NO PROBLEM!  Now, have you looked on lots for cars under $1000? WOW!  So, I checked Craig's list again...two cars.  In calling on each, I got the car and prices mixed up.  So, when I called this Subaru fella, I asked about the car listed for $6000 - to which he freaked out thinking he placed the ad incorrectly.  Oh, my mistake!  So I noticed he was asking $9850, and lived in a town an hour away, so I told him never mind that was more than I was looking to spend, didn't want to waste our time and I was at the tail END of my buying process.  He said 'wait a tick...my wife and I are moving to Hawaii next week and haven't sold either car, so how about I tell you what our bottom line is and see if that works for you?" Well, his bottom line????   EXACTLY $7500!!!!!   The next day he drove up, title in hand in case it worked out, my car buddy came to meet us to also drive it, and in one hour we were at my bank and the DMV and I owned it!!!!  WOW!!!! 

Now some of you are wondering how I did that?  It is literally my belief system - and the more you think positively, or negatively mind you, the more things happen like that. 
It is called the Law of Attraction. Now you might have heard of The Secret, movie or book, which is a good, but simplified, raw explanation.  It is about the power of our thinking.  Like thoughts attract like thoughts. 

Want an example the opposite way?  You all know of that friend that is so negative all the time and "EVERYTHING" is always going wrong?  I mean, really....ALL THE TIME!?  Law of Attraction...they believe truly to their deepest level that things will go wrong.  The power of their thinking attracts more to them, and more, and more...from the crappy parking spot, to the longest line in the grocery store, to getting overcharged at the next store, and on and on and on...and we all get to hear about it. 

Shift that thinking folks!  Here's how...
1) Ask the universe, put your thoughts out there, firmly, specifically, for real. 
2) Be open to receiving the things you want, really open, no contradicting your desires, set yourself up for success, and
3) BELIEVE it will happen.  This last one is the toughest of the three:  You truly have to believe...and the more success you have, like me, the easier it is to believe it will happen.  Then friends around you start to notice too!

So, when I was losing my job this kicked in for me to the utmost power.  I had to believe with all my might that it really would work out for the best.  I had a good job, I am in a specialized field that could take me across the country to where more larger corporations are.  I believed that the right job, right situation, right place, right time would all work out.  Now, did I believe that job X in Y town or company would be the job?  NO...I trusted in all things to work out for the right things to line up.  We have to remember that it is not up to us to control the who, what, when, where, and why.  We have to do our part to line up our desires with the beliefs, and our part to make things happen.  I do not just sit on the sidelines twiddling my thumbs hoping...this is different.  I was seeking jobs, applying all over, limiting my spending and preparing for in case I didn't find something right away.  I even took in a roommate to help with expenses.  I was smart....but still believed it would work out.  So did my coworker at work who was much support - she said right away and would remind me if I faltered - "I am learning being around you that things really do seem to work out for you, it's weird!"   Well, I landed myself a GREAT job, in a town only 3 hours from home and the kids' dad, which I LOVE that we have some space.  My job has been great, the new town, the people I have met have been amazing...and for a girl who was losing her job only months after purchasing my house to make more money in a cheaper town to live, landed a great renter for my house and have this new life......that just ain't bad!!!!!  THAT'S AMAZING!!! 

So, recently, I tried it with my landlord.  I told him I was working on the yard, improving, landscaping a bit, and asked very politely if he would consider replacing the fridge, which was from the 70's, and rather than wait until it went out.  Well, I asked him to consider in this way....offer me an allowance and to pick one out myself so if I paid a little more then it benefited him as well.  See, I didn't want the tiniest basic fridge with no ice maker.  I also asked him if he would come install the ice maker.  Well, guess what?  I came home from being out of town, to a receipt to a local store here and a note that it was all arranged, paid for, delivery and removal, and that I could go in to upgrade if I wished.  WOW!  It doesn't end there!  I went in and did decide to upgrade, but asked and believed that they would give me a discount on the one I wanted - sure enough!  AND to boot, they arranged delivery that afternoon!!! Waaaaalllah!   It works!

SO, come on, give that power of positive thinking a try!  It truly works, there is enough to go around the world, and the funny thing is that I have learned.  It doesn't hurt does it???? NO!!!  There is no harm in thinking positively; no harm in asking...I get free drinks, extra toppings, great parking spaces....the worst thing that happens is that you are told no....and you move on to the next thing. 

Happy Thinking everyone!
~Daring, Delightful Diva~

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Blind-sided....NOT

Posted by Dancing Daring Delightful Diva at 10:50 PM 0 comments
A while ago I had some heartache to recover from, so it takes a while to remove yourself from it enough to write about.  Today is that day...
I received an email newsletter and one more sign..."10 men you should stay away from and RUN!" or something of that sort...I clicked it open to see about these red flags these 'other women' should be seeing, duhhhhhh!  Well the first two were pretty obvious to me and thought 'why on earth would any woman put up with that?' But then, #3 and maybe #6 and #9 applied to this fella that I had dated and invested my time in.  It made me a bit sad, feel a bit foolish...and it reminded me that my friend and I had discussed quite a long time ago the WHY we put up with garbage being dished out and only came up with ONE answer ----- ready????------we got emotionally attached!!!  Logic had no part in it any longer because you invest yourself, your time, your hopes and heart into the possibility of love and a life with someone...so you no longer see some of these things that you LOGICALLY would tell any girlfriend to RUN FORREST RUN!!!  It opened my eyes...again, so I am grateful for that and the learning experience. 

So I even realized before this newsletter came to me, I have been 'resetting' myself, overhauling my life, reevaluating the men I have been attracting, and RAISING MY VALUE and standards for some future time or chance with someone. 

Just last week I watched He's Just Not That Into You - again...refreshed me on relationships, certain types of men, women and rebuilt my stronger convictions to NOT put up with garbage and to remember, it really IS that simple always - why would we want someone AT ALL that is not totally into us, genuinely and honestly???  I'd rather remain single forever than some of the stuff I have put up with. 

I wrote a long time ago a couple pieces after reading Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - and the MOVIE just came out, so I took myself on a date to see it - and how good it was!  :)  While educating us women, and hopefully you men too, it was also humorous and cute too!  So if one were also wanting to refresh themselves you could check out these old blogs:  The Cookie, and Act Like a Lady too. :)

Here's to being blind-sided...NOT, and instead owning up to MY end of the deal in putting up with less than I deserved all along and allowing the behaviors to continue.  SOOOO, no more!  I will treat myself with enough respect to say 'Naaaaa, I don't need anymore of that!' ~ even if it is difficult in the moment, the long run I will thank me for it...AMEN, sistahs!

I shall wait to be someone's exception - when they quit all the games, bullshit, and drama and literally just want to BE with me, that I am special to them and they don't want to lose me, that I am no longer the 'rule' for all the women before me - and want a healthy, fabulous co-creative experience WITH ME....I AM someone's exception....someday!

Be Daring and still Delightful! :)
~Daring, Delightful Diva~
 

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